{"id":1494,"date":"2013-07-05T19:46:12","date_gmt":"2013-07-05T17:46:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/xn--zkartal-80a.com\/?p=1494"},"modified":"2014-09-27T22:21:04","modified_gmt":"2014-09-27T20:21:04","slug":"yanlizligin-bittigi-yer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/xn--zkartal-80a.com\/?p=1494","title":{"rendered":"Yanl\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131n bitti\u011fi yer…"},"content":{"rendered":"

Yanl\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131 hissetmek kendi i\u00e7inde o kadar zor ve bir o kadar ac\u0131d\u0131r. Her an h\u00fczn\u00fc \u00e7a\u011f\u0131r\u0131r.\"\" Anlamaz kimse seni. Yanzl\u0131\u011f\u0131na ortak olamamas\u0131 kimselerin, anlamas\u0131n\u0131 istedi\u011fin, bekledi\u011fin de anlamaz seni. B\u0131rak anlamaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmas\u0131n\u0131 ilk tepki g\u00f6steren, ilk seni umursamayan da odur. Seni daha da yanl\u0131zla\u015ft\u0131ran, beklentilerindir belkide. Oysa her \u015fey ne g\u00fczel ba\u015flam\u0131\u015ft\u0131 hayat\u0131nda. Ne kadar g\u00fczeldi her \u015fey. Hayat\u0131 ya\u015famak mutlulu\u011fun doru\u011funda. Neden, bukadar zamans\u0131z b\u00f6yle oldu? Tanr\u0131n\u0131n k\u0131skan\u00e7l\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131yd\u0131? hani derler ya bir insan bir di\u011ferini Tanr\u0131 gibi sevmemeli diye. Kadere boyun e\u011fmelisin Tanr\u0131n\u0131n kararlar\u0131 sorgulanamaz. Senin can\u0131ndan \u00f6te sevdi\u011fini Tanr\u0131 sana uygun g\u00f6rmemi\u015f bir kere. Asl\u0131nda \u015fimdilerde can\u0131n\u0131 s\u0131kan, \u00fcmit etti\u011fin, hayal etti\u011fin bir \u015feylerin anla\u015f\u0131lamamas\u0131. \u00d6l sende, \u00f6l o zaman . D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnme, direnme, de\u011fi\u015ftirmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015fma kendini. Kabullen ve \u00f6l. Bir kere daha k\u0131zd\u0131rmak istiyorsan Tanr\u0131y\u0131. Teslim et emanetini.<\/p>\n

\u00c7ok uzun bir s\u00fcre b\u00f6yle ya\u015fad\u0131n. Belkide \u00e7ok uzun zamandan beri de\u011fi\u015ftirmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131n ya\u015fam\u0131n\u2019m\u0131? yoksa de\u011fi\u015fmesi gereken sen miydin? Her ikisini de yapam\u0131yorsun. Ne ya\u015fam\u0131n\u0131 de\u011fi\u015ftirebiliyorsun korkular\u0131ndan ne de kendini. Hayal k\u0131r\u0131kl\u0131klar\u0131n param par\u00e7a her biri bir yerde yap\u0131\u015ft\u0131ram\u0131yorsun bir t\u00fcrl\u00fc.<\/p>\n

Oysa ki ne g\u00fczel olurdu. Nas\u0131l isterdin yaln\u0131z olmamay\u0131 se\u00e7tiklerinin seni taa i\u00e7ine al\u0131pta s\u0131rtlar\u0131n\u0131 d\u00f6n\u00fcp gitmemelerini. T\u00fckenmi\u015fli\u011finin, teslimiyetinin sonucumudur b\u00fct\u00fcn bu olanlar. Sen de bilemiyorsun. Sadece belki bir g\u00fcn d\u00fczelir diye bekliyorsun. Ya d\u00fczelmezse? B\u00f6yle bir olas\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmek istemiyorsun bile. Kendine ra\u011fmen, yaln\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131na ra\u011fmen \u00fcmit ediyorsun. O g\u00fcn\u00fc g\u00f6remeden gidersen g\u00f6z\u00fcn arkada m\u0131 gitmi\u015f olurdun acaba? Bir \u015fans daha istersen Tanr\u0131dan olmazm\u0131? De\u011fi\u015ftirmek istedi\u011fin ya\u015fam\u0131nda tut a\u015fk\u0131n elinden. Yanl\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131n esaretinden kurtar kendini. Kalbini a\u00e7, Kaderin kederi ya\u015famak, yanl\u0131zl\u0131k olmas\u0131n b\u0131rak at beyninden deli d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcmceleri.\u00a0 De\u011fi\u015fsin art\u0131k \u015fu fotograf kareleri beyninde. Sen karar verdi\u011finde bekliyor olaca\u011f\u0131m yanl\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131n bitti\u011fi yerde. Kurtulursam ceza evimden kalemin olaca\u011f\u0131m yeni bir \u00f6yk\u00fcde.<\/p>\n

Her neyse i\u015fte…<\/p>\n

\u00a0G\u00fcvenmeyi \u00f6\u011frenmelisin<\/strong><\/p>\n

Gitti\u011finden beri, burada her \u015fey yolunda i\u015fte…<\/p>\n

Hava so\u011fuk, ya\u011fmur ya\u011f\u0131yor bazen sokaklara,<\/p>\n

\u00dc\u015f\u00fcyor ayaklar\u0131m, yorgun yanl\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131m i\u00e7imde.<\/p>\n

Sesizce s\u00fcz\u00fclen damlalar d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcyor kuca\u011f\u0131ma.<\/p>\n

Zaman\u0131n ard\u0131ndan soruyorsan, herkes ya\u015f\u0131yor.<\/p>\n

Bana bi\u00e7ilen kader ve kederimde kendi halinde.<\/p>\n

\u015eairler \u015fiirler yaz\u0131yor yanl\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131n t\u00fckenmi\u015fli\u011fine.<\/p>\n

\u00c7ocuklar akl\u0131m\u0131 al\u0131yor akl\u0131ma geldik\u00e7e neden ben.<\/p>\n

Sevdi\u011fin ezgiler geldik\u00e7e akl\u0131ma yine s\u0131z\u0131yor kalbim.<\/p>\n

Cama vuran ya\u011fmur damlalar\u0131 ile ortak ve aheste.<\/p>\n

Yine o bildi\u011fin s\u00f6yledi\u011fin \u015fark\u0131 var dudaklar\u0131mda.<\/p>\n

B\u00f6yle i\u015fte hayat b\u00f6yle ge\u00e7iyor gidi\u015finin ard\u0131ndan.<\/p>\n

Geceler daha bir karanl\u0131k ve daha uzun yaln\u0131zl\u0131klar.<\/p>\n

S\u00f6nm\u00fc\u015f art\u0131k y\u0131ld\u0131zlar\u0131n p\u0131r\u0131lt\u0131lar\u0131, ho\u015f kayanda yok.<\/p>\n

Yorgun d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015f kalbim dilek tutamaz olmu\u015f.<\/p>\n

Sevda r\u00fczgarlar\u0131 esiyor, boynu b\u00fck\u00fck yasl\u0131 bulutlar.<\/p>\n

Gitti\u011finden beri sen benden zaman durdu yoklu\u011funda.<\/p>\n

Ne ac\u0131m al\u0131p ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 gidebildi, ne de ye\u015ferebildi g\u00f6nl\u00fcm.<\/p>\n

Anlad\u0131m cezam\u0131 Tanr\u0131 istemedi seni tanr\u0131 gibi sevmemi.<\/p>\n

Yanl\u0131zl\u0131k Tanr\u0131ya aitse hayallerimi g\u00f6mmeliyim art\u0131k.<\/p>\n

Bu bedendeki emanet can\u0131 kedere bo\u011fmadan yeniden.<\/p>\n

Kadere kar\u015f\u0131 gelmeden, ya\u015fama s\u0131k\u0131ca tutunmal\u0131y\u0131m.<\/p>\n

Belki hayat yeniden ba\u015flamal\u0131 sevgimin t\u00fckenmi\u015fli\u011finde.<\/p>\n

Kalbimi a\u00e7mal\u0131y\u0131m yeniden \u00f6\u011frenmeliyim g\u00fcvenmeyi,<\/p>\n

Sen olmadan yeni hayat\u0131m\u0131n garip ya\u015fam m\u00fccadelesinde.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Mehmet Tevfik \u00d6zkartal<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Yanl\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131 hissetmek kendi i\u00e7inde o kadar zor ve bir o kadar ac\u0131d\u0131r. Her an h\u00fczn\u00fc \u00e7a\u011f\u0131r\u0131r. Anlamaz kimse seni. Yanzl\u0131\u011f\u0131na ortak olamamas\u0131 kimselerin, anlamas\u0131n\u0131 istedi\u011fin, bekledi\u011fin de anlamaz seni. B\u0131rak anlamaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmas\u0131n\u0131 ilk tepki g\u00f6steren, ilk seni umursamayan da odur. Seni daha da yanl\u0131zla\u015ft\u0131ran, beklentilerindir belkide. Oysa her \u015fey ne g\u00fczel ba\u015flam\u0131\u015ft\u0131 hayat\u0131nda. Ne kadar […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[25],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/xn--zkartal-80a.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1494"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/xn--zkartal-80a.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/xn--zkartal-80a.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xn--zkartal-80a.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xn--zkartal-80a.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1494"}],"version-history":[{"count":15,"href":"https:\/\/xn--zkartal-80a.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1494\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1829,"href":"https:\/\/xn--zkartal-80a.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1494\/revisions\/1829"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/xn--zkartal-80a.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1494"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xn--zkartal-80a.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1494"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xn--zkartal-80a.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1494"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}