{"id":1129,"date":"2009-03-20T07:59:03","date_gmt":"2009-03-20T05:59:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/xn--zkartal-80a.com\/?p=1129"},"modified":"2025-05-24T22:36:27","modified_gmt":"2025-05-24T20:36:27","slug":"hayat","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/xn--zkartal-80a.com\/?p=1129","title":{"rendered":"Hayat Dedi\u011fimiz"},"content":{"rendered":"

Kimi sevsem, bir \u015fekilde onu kaybetti\u011fimi<\/em> d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcr olmu\u015ftum. Hayat hi\u00e7 sormad\u0131\u2019ki\u00a0 bana.!<\/strong> \"\"<\/a>Ne d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fc,neler hissetti\u011fimi. Umudum, s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131ya odaklanmak yerine hayat\u0131m\u0131n t\u00fcm\u00fcne, ge\u00e7mi\u015f ve gelece\u011fe, t\u00fcm duygular\u0131ma ve t\u00fcm d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncelerime y\u00f6nelerek bak\u0131\u015f a\u00e7\u0131m\u0131 geni\u015fletmekti. Bazen s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131lar\u0131m\u0131 \u00a0o kadar merkeze al\u0131rd\u0131m ki, hayat\u0131m\u0131n di\u011fer s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131s\u0131z b\u00f6l\u00fcmlerini es ge\u00e7erdim.\u2018\u2018 Bir sine\u011fi g\u00f6z\u00fcne yakla\u015ft\u0131ran insan bir s\u00fcre sonra sinekten ba\u015fka bir \u015fey g\u00f6remez olur.\u2018\u2018 derdi rahmetli Babam. San\u0131r\u0131m hayatta nereye bakt\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131zdan ziyade nereden bakt\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z \u00f6nemli.<\/p>\n

\u00c7ocuklu\u011fum\u2019da, Gen\u00e7li\u011fimde g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm bildi\u011fim annelerimiz \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmazd\u0131. Ev anahtar\u0131 ta\u015f\u0131mak adetlerimiz aras\u0131nda de\u011fildi. Okuldan eve geldi\u011fimde boynumdaki anahtarla kap\u0131y\u0131 hi\u00e7 a\u00e7mad\u0131m. Babam\u0131n bile anahtar\u0131 yoktu hat\u0131rmda kald\u0131\u011f\u0131 kadar. Annem evimizin bir par\u00e7as\u0131yd\u0131. En fazla bir kom\u015fuya kahve i\u00e7meye\u00a0 gider fazla oturmadan\u2019da d\u00f6nerdi. Okuldan eve geldi\u011fimizde en b\u00fcy\u00fck e\u011flencelermiz sokakta oyun oynamakt\u0131. Sokakta oynamak kavram\u0131 vard\u0131. Bu g\u00fcnk\u00fc gibi al\u0131\u015f veri\u015f merkezleri, \u00e7ocuk parklar\u0131, gibi vakit ge\u00e7irece\u011fimiz yerler yoktu. Ho\u015f bu durumdan hi\u00e7 bir zaman \u015fikayet\u00e7i olmam\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. \u00c7o\u011fu zaman okul d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015flerinde arkada\u015flarla oyuna dal\u0131p eve ge\u00e7 geldi\u011fimiz \u00e7ok olmu\u015ftur.\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Kom\u015fuluk\u00a0 ili\u015fkilerimiz\u2019de bu g\u00fcnk\u00fcnden \u00e7ok daha farkl\u0131 idi. Mahallemizde ya\u015fayan teyzeler annemiz gibiydi. Arkada\u015flar\u0131m\u0131z karde\u015flerimizdi.<\/p>\n

Oyun oynad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z yere en yak\u0131n olan kom\u015fumuzun kap\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7alabilir, su, karn\u0131m\u0131z ac\u0131kt\u0131ysa yicek bir \u015feyler alabilirdik Ekseriyetle\u2019de ekmek i\u00e7i<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

sand\u00f6vi\u00e7 olurdu.\u00a0 Sokaklar\u0131m\u0131z evimiz kadar g\u00fcvenli idi. D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnce yere, kolumuzdan tutup kald\u0131r\u0131rlar, kavga edince ay\u0131r\u0131p bar\u0131\u015ft\u0131r\u0131rlard\u0131. Sonra kavgalar\u0131m\u0131z da \u00f6yle ustura, fal\u00e7ata \u00a0ile olmaz, onlar nedir bilmezdik bile.! Asla kanla falan da bitmezdi kavgalar\u0131m\u0131z, en fazla sa\u00e7lar\u0131m\u0131zdan \u00e7eker, hayvan adlar\u0131 sayar, tekme atar, yine oyuna devam ederdik.<\/p>\n

Sanki kavga etmemi\u015fiz gibi birbirimizin suyundan i\u00e7erdik. Ellerimiz y\u00fczlerimiz toz topraktan le\u015f gibi olmas\u0131na ra\u011fmem mikrop kapmazd\u0131k. Ko\u015farken d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcp bir yerimizi incitti\u011fimizde Annem ekmek \u00e7i\u011fner moraran yerin \u00fczerine basard\u0131. \u00d6yle beyin sars\u0131nt\u0131s\u0131m\u0131 ge\u00e7irdi acaba diye hastahanelere ta\u015f\u0131nmazd\u0131k. Ho\u015f ta\u015f\u0131nmak istesekte gidece\u011fimiz bir hastahanemiz bile yoktu.<\/p>\n

Hayat bana b\u00f6yle bir mahallede b\u00fcy\u00fcmek, ergen olma imkan\u0131 sunmu\u015ftu.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Nereye baksam kaybettiklerimizi g\u00f6r\u00fcr olmu\u015ftum. Hayat hi\u00e7 sormadiki bana neyi kaybetmek isteyip istemedi\u011fimi. I\u015f\u0131l \u0131\u015f\u0131l yanan ma\u011fzalar, al\u0131\u015fveri\u015f merkezleri, l\u00fcks binalar, rengarenk kald\u0131r\u0131mlar ve bu kald\u0131r\u0131mlarda oradan oraya ko\u015fu\u015fturan insanlar. Ruhunu kaybetmi\u015f, so\u011fuk, buz gibi, yok yok biz bu de\u011filiz. \u0130s\"\"<\/a>kele meydan\u0131na indi\u011fimizde selam verip hal hat\u0131r sorup ellerinden \u00f6pt\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fcz dedeler, neneler yok art\u0131k. Kahvelerde oturup gelen ge\u00e7enlerin selam\u0131n\u0131 bile \u00f6zletmi\u015fken bu hayat dedi\u011fimiz ya\u015fanm\u0131\u015fl\u0131k. Ad\u0131 t\u00fckeni\u015f olsun bu seferde biraz daha kaybedi\u015f benli\u011fimizi. Devrik, kay\u0131p ve birazda k\u0131r\u0131kl\u0131k olsun. \u00dczmeye de\u011fsin birazda kendini. Nedenler yarat\u0131rken ayr\u0131l yava\u015f\u00e7a, ya\u015fayan d\u00fckkanlar\u0131n kilitler vur kap\u0131lar\u0131na. Stakinin ve bir \u00e7ok arkada\u015f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n\u00a0 babas\u0131n\u0131n yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131 gibi. Anahtar\u0131 i\u00e7inde k\u0131r\u0131lm\u0131\u015f asma kilitler olsun. Ya\u011fmur, kar, dolu ya\u011farken \u00fcst\u00fcm\u00fcze, kald\u0131ysa e\u011fer s\u0131\u011f\u0131nacak bir yer ah\u015fap, eski k\u0131sa pervazlar\u0131n alt\u0131nda. Nefesin Kesil\"\"di\u011fi noktada soluklanacak bir an yakalam\u0131\u015f dostlard\u0131r onlar. Hazlar\u0131n, tutkular\u0131n, a\u015fk\u0131n, heyecanlar\u0131n bir arada ya\u015fand\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir d\u00fcnyad\u0131r.\u00a0 Yakalanamayacak kadar h\u0131zl\u0131 geli\u015fen, ak\u0131p giden, anl\u0131k da olsa yakaland\u0131\u011f\u0131nda b\u00fcy\u00fcs\u00fcne kap\u0131l\u0131p kendinizden yans\u0131malar bulaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131z bir d\u00fcnyad\u0131r B\u00fcy\u00fckada. G\u00fcnd\u00fcz d\u00fc\u015fleri de gecenin b\u00fcy\u00fcs\u00fc de oradad\u0131r.\u00a0 Hayat oradad\u0131r i\u015fte.! Tebess\u00fcmler hi\u00e7 eksik olmazken.\u201d En az\u0131ndan hayalimde \u00f6yle kald\u0131.<\/p>\n

\u00dcsk\u00fcdar Dedemin,Babaannemin Ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131 kasaba. So\u011fuk bir k\u0131\u015f\u00a0 gecesinde eve d\u00f6nerken, kald\u0131r\u0131m\u0131n ortal\u0131k yerinde duran gen\u00e7 bir arkada\u015f g\u00f6rd\u00fcm. Derin derin soluk al\u0131yor ve d\u00fc\u015fmemek i\u00e7in yan\u0131ndaki elektrik dire\u011fine sar\u0131l\u0131yordu. Bir vitrine bak\u0131yormu\u015f gibi yaparak g\u00f6z ucuyla onu seyrettim. Benim \u00a0ya\u015flarda olmal\u0131yd\u0131 ve \u00fcst\u00fc ba\u015f\u0131 da bir sarho\u015ftan beklenmeyecek kadar temizdi. Yan\u0131ndan ge\u00e7enlerden baz\u0131lar\u0131 y\u00fcksek sesle konu\u015farak k\u00fcfelik olmu\u015f, baz\u0131lar\u0131 da sadece alayl\u0131 g\u00fcl\u00fcmsemelerle yetiniyordu. Yolun bo\u015falmas\u0131n\u0131 kollad\u0131ktan sonra yava\u015f\u00e7a yan\u0131na sokularak: \u0130yi misin karde\u015f ? diye sordum. Bir ihtiyac\u0131n var m\u0131?<\/p>\n

Zorlukla arayabildi\u011fi dudaklar\u0131ndan iniltiye benzeyen tek bir kelime \u00e7\u0131kabildi: Sarho\u015fum…
\nD\u00fc\u015fmemesi i\u00e7in bir kolunu beline dolayarak nerede oturdu\u011funu sordum?<\/p>\n

Asl\u0131nda uzak de\u011fildi oturdu\u011fu yer bizim evin hemen k\u00f6\u015fesindeydi tarif ediyordu. Ak\u015fam vakitlerinde kesilen kar ya\u011f\u0131\u015f\u0131 tekrar ba\u015flam\u0131\u015f, yava\u015f yava\u015f beyazlanmaya ba\u015flayan yollarda birbiriyle yar\u0131\u015fan sokak k\u00f6peklerinin d\u0131\u015f\u0131nda bir\u00a0 hayat emaresi kalmam\u0131\u015ft\u0131.
\nKap\u0131y\u0131 \u00e7ald\u0131\u011f\u0131mda Annesi ve k\u0131z karde\u015fi a\u00e7m\u0131\u015ft\u0131 kap\u0131y\u0131. \u0130smini daha sonradan \u00f6\u011frendi\u011fim Can dostum Ligori, Annesi ve karde\u015fi \u00a0ile b\u00f6yla tan\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m.\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Ho\u015f bizde ailecek Dede evine yeni tan\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015ft\u0131k, hen\u00fcz kimseleri tan\u0131m\u0131yordum. Bir t\u00fcrl\u00fc intibak edemedi\u011fim bu yeni \u00e7evreye k\u0131sa zamanda al\u0131\u015fmam\u00a0 Ligori ve ailesinin sayesinde olmu\u015ftu. Annesine Ligorinin seslendi\u011fi gibi Mama diyordum.<\/p>\n

K\u0131z karde\u015fine ( Rodi) B\u0131c\u0131r\u00a0 derdim. \u0130lk geldi\u011fimde nefret etti\u011fim Karamano\u011flu soka\u011f\u0131 g\u00f6z\u00fcmde ya\u015fanabilir bir yer oluvermi\u015fti. B\u00fcy\u00fck aday\u0131 pek \u00f6zlemiyordum art\u0131k. Zaman i\u00e7inde k\u0131ymetini bilemedi\u011fim yeni dostlar\u0131m vard\u0131 art\u0131k. Nas\u0131l olmu\u015ftu da b\u00f6yle bir hataya d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015f yollar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n ayr\u0131lmas\u0131na seyirci kalabilmi\u015ftim. Hayat bana her zaman oldu\u011fu gibi hi\u00e7 mi hi\u00e7 sormad\u0131\u2018ki ne istedi\u011fimi.\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Hayat b\u00fcy\u00fck \u015fehirlerin ac\u0131mas\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131 m\u0131, hayat ya\u015fam standartlar\u0131m\u0131z m\u0131, ya\u015fam ko\u015fullar\u0131n\u0131n a\u011f\u0131rl\u0131\u011f\u0131 m\u0131, yoksa yetinmek kavram\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n ciddi yara almas\u0131 m\u0131? Ne isterseniz koyun ad\u0131n\u0131! Bir ger\u00e7ek var ki de\u011ferlerimizi gen\u00e7ken kaybediyoruz. Sonunda bencil, yaln\u0131z, g\u00fcvensiz, maddiyat\u0131 ya\u015fam\u0131n\u0131n g\u00f6be\u011fine koymu\u015f bir insan olarak hayat\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 t\u00fcketiyoruz. Y\u0131llar i\u00e7inde son arkada\u015f\u0131n\u0131\u2019da kaybeden ben. Teslim olmu\u015ftum hayata.<\/p>\n

Kafam\u0131n i\u00e7indeki bin bir y\u00fckle. Mama s\u00f6ylerdi hep ak\u015famlar\u0131 b\u0131rak vre d\u00fcs\u00fcnmeyi hafifle… Sabah dinlenmi\u015f olarak yeniden tekrar ta\u015f\u0131rs\u0131n y\u00fck\u00fcn\u00fc. Bizim i\u015fimiz, bug\u00fcn\u00fc yar\u0131na ta\u015f\u0131mak, bu g\u00fcn\u00fcn alt\u0131nda yok olmak de\u011fil. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc , yar\u0131nlarda bizi bekleyenler var, ta\u015f\u0131d\u0131klar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 bekleyenler var\u2026<\/p>\n

Mama hakl\u0131yd\u0131 asl\u0131nda. Ne de g\u00fczel, anlaml\u0131 \u00f6\u011f\u00fcler vermi\u015fti hayat hakk\u0131nda. Bu g\u00fcn d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorumda.! Rodi’nin seslendirdi\u011fi bir t\u00fcrk\u00fcn\u00fcn ard\u0131ndan” Hayat”<\/p>\n

Bize sormadan, dan\u0131\u015fmadan karar veren, hayat\u0131n\u00a0 hepimiz \u00a0hamallar\u0131y\u0131z…<\/p>\n

Mehmet Tevfik \u00d6zkartal<\/p>\n

20.03.2010\u00a0 N\u00fcrnberg<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Kimi sevsem, bir \u015fekilde onu kaybetti\u011fimi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcr olmu\u015ftum. Hayat hi\u00e7 sormad\u0131\u2019ki\u00a0 bana.! Ne d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fc,neler hissetti\u011fimi. Umudum, s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131ya odaklanmak yerine hayat\u0131m\u0131n t\u00fcm\u00fcne, ge\u00e7mi\u015f ve gelece\u011fe, t\u00fcm duygular\u0131ma ve t\u00fcm d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncelerime y\u00f6nelerek bak\u0131\u015f a\u00e7\u0131m\u0131 geni\u015fletmekti. Bazen s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131lar\u0131m\u0131 \u00a0o kadar merkeze al\u0131rd\u0131m ki, hayat\u0131m\u0131n di\u011fer s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131s\u0131z b\u00f6l\u00fcmlerini es ge\u00e7erdim.\u2018\u2018 Bir sine\u011fi g\u00f6z\u00fcne yakla\u015ft\u0131ran insan bir s\u00fcre sonra sinekten […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[37,15],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/xn--zkartal-80a.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1129"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/xn--zkartal-80a.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/xn--zkartal-80a.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xn--zkartal-80a.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xn--zkartal-80a.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1129"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"https:\/\/xn--zkartal-80a.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1129\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3261,"href":"https:\/\/xn--zkartal-80a.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1129\/revisions\/3261"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/xn--zkartal-80a.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1129"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xn--zkartal-80a.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1129"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xn--zkartal-80a.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1129"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}