{"id":2285,"date":"2017-02-27T01:06:26","date_gmt":"2017-02-26T23:06:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/xn--zkartal-80a.com\/?p=2285"},"modified":"2020-05-28T16:53:01","modified_gmt":"2020-05-28T14:53:01","slug":"%ef%bb%bfotonazi-yok-et-kendini","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/xn--zkartal-80a.com\/?p=2285","title":{"rendered":"\ufeff\u00d6t\u00f6nazi ( Yok et kendini)"},"content":{"rendered":"<h1><!--StartFragment--><\/h1>\n<p><!--StartFragment--><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><strong>Bildik manzaralar var hayat\u0131mda. Ge\u00e7en sene bu aylar\u2019da yine bu hastahanenin bir ba\u015fka odas\u0131ndan, \u015fubat ay\u0131n\u0131n sekizinde karalam\u0131\u015ft\u0131m bir ka\u00e7 sat\u0131r.<\/strong><\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_2603\" style=\"width: 285px\" class=\"wp-caption alignleft\"><img aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-2603\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\" wp-image-2603\" src=\"http:\/\/xn--zkartal-80a.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/Hastahanet-1-300x268.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"275\" height=\"246\" srcset=\"http:\/\/xn--zkartal-80a.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/Hastahanet-1-300x268.jpg 300w, http:\/\/xn--zkartal-80a.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/Hastahanet-1.jpg 450w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 275px) 100vw, 275px\" \/><p id=\"caption-attachment-2603\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Kuzey Hastahanesi<\/p><\/div>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><strong>Bu sene ond\u00f6rd\u00fc ayn\u0131 hastahanenin bir ba\u015fka odas\u0131nda, hemde Sevgililer g\u00fcn\u00fcnde!<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Kalbim parampar\u00e7a mesela, g\u00f6zlerim ilk g\u00fcn ki gibi; dokunsalar a\u011flayacak onlar da. Omzumda y\u0131llar\u0131n yorgunlu\u011fu, beynimde unutulmu\u015f s\u00f6zlerin \u201cbelki hat\u0131rlan\u0131r\u201d umudu. Benimkisi ise \u015fu kahbe hayatta ayakta kalma yorgunlu\u011fu. Bir de\u011fi\u015fiklik yok; yorgun bir halde a\u011f\u0131r aksak sekiyoruz i\u015fte.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Karmakar\u0131\u015f\u0131k beynimdeki d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnceler. Her\u015fey her yerde; bulam\u0131yorum koydu\u011fum hi\u00e7 bir \u015feyi yerinde; hani Vatan? sevdam\u0131 koymu\u015ftum ya kalbimin bir yerine Vatan diyerek; bak i\u015fte bulam\u0131yorum vatan\u0131m nerede? Atam\u0131n \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fc ile unutmu\u015flar\u2026 Ad\u0131n\u0131 bile kanla irfanla yeniden koydu\u011fumuz T\u00fcrk vatan\u0131\u2019n\u0131, 1938 de kald\u0131rm\u0131\u015flar hastahaneye. Yeterli kann gitmeyince vucudun di\u011fer organlar\u0131na; Mikroplar dururmu? ba\u015flam\u0131\u015flar tekrardan \u00fcremeye. \u00c7ok basit bir kalp nakli ile; yeni kalbimiz pa\u015fam ismet bir t\u00fcrl\u00fc a\u00e7amam\u0131\u015f damar yollar\u0131n\u0131.Paralara bile basm\u0131\u015f kendi resmini, Belki Atam unutulur, Vatan\u2019a bir faydas\u0131 olur diye!.. <!--more-->Bakmay\u0131n \u00f6yle s\u00f6yledi\u011fi laflara, hani s\u00f6z konusu Vatan ise gerisi teferruatt\u0131r falan dedi\u011fine. T\u00fcrk\u00fcn atas\u0131 olmak kolay m\u0131 \u00f6yle. E\u2026 yeni tak\u0131lan kalp; \u0130smet&#8217;de zay\u0131f d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015f tabi\u2026 kan gitmeyince; vucud bu, ba\u015flam\u0131\u015f organlar ufak, tefek teklemeye. Mikroplar durur\u2019mu, bayram ediyorlar, ge\u00e7ince ellerine b\u00f6yle bir f\u0131rsat. D\u00fcnya da bo\u015f durmam\u0131\u015f; \u00dcretmi\u015f kendi kendine mikroplar\u0131n\u0131 i\u00e7imizde. D\u00fcnya mikroplar\u0131, bizim yerli mikroplar, bu vucudu yok etmek i\u00e7in vermi\u015fler el ele. Tanr\u0131ya \u015f\u00fck\u00fcrler olsun mihrap sa\u011flam da gelmi\u015fiz k\u00f6r, topal 1950 lere. \u0130nsan beyni nede olsa yeterince beslenemeyince, kann gitmeyince di\u011fer organlar gibi Beyin\u2019de ba\u015flam\u0131\u015f, yeni, yeni fikirler \u00fcretmemeye. Alzhamer te\u015fhisi konmu\u015f. Ma\u015fallah \u015eimdiki yeni kalp, Beyin eskileri ne de g\u00fczel hat\u0131rl\u0131yor Vatan hainlerini Kahraman olarak. Koca Devleti Aliye\u2018yi \u201dOsmanl\u0131\u201d yap\u0131verdiler. sanki d\u00fcn\u2019\u00fc bu g\u00fcn ya\u015f\u0131yor gibi. Bu g\u00fcnm\u00fc? kimselerin haberi bile yok. Mikrop\u2018da olsa benim deyipte \u00f6ld\u00fcremedi\u011fi; mikroplara can suyu vermi\u015f, bakm\u0131\u015f, beslemi\u015f. Uykudan uyanan her mikrop, sonradan ithal di\u011fer mikroplarla birle\u015fip, ba\u015flam\u0131\u015flar gizliden gizliye vucudu ele ge\u00e7irmeye. Organlar fel\u00e7; kala kala elde bir ruh kalm\u0131\u015f!<br \/>\n1923 ruhu mu? Oooo Unutulmu\u015f gitmi\u015f hemde \u00fclk\u00fcc\u00fcy\u00fcm diyen, i\u00e7imizdeki yerli ve ithal mikroplarla. Al ve akyuvarlar\u0131n sava\u015f\u0131; \u015fimdilerde bu vucut\u2019da verdi\u011fimiz. \u0130kide bir ate\u015flenmi\u015fiz, vucudun koruma kalkan\u0131 s\u00fcr\u00fcn\u00fcyorken yerlerde. Her t\u00fcrl\u00fc mikrop yuvalam\u0131\u015f son darbeyi vurmak i\u00e7in i\u00e7imizde. Bir aydan beri beyin tamamen \u015fanz\u0131man s\u0131y\u0131rm\u0131\u015f sanki, emirler ya\u011fd\u0131r\u0131yor b\u00fct\u00fcn organlara; illa da \u00d6t\u00f6nazi (yok et kendini) diye. Unuttum gitti bu ka\u00e7\u0131nc\u0131 kalp nakli? Hastal\u0131kl\u0131 organlar \u015fa\u015fk\u0131n, Al ve Ak yuvarlar ne yaps\u0131n. EVET deseler Al yuvarlar, HAYIR deseler Ak yuvarlar \u00f6lecek. Arada bir damardan verilen antibiyotik de bir i\u015fe yaram\u0131yor anlayaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131z. Hay allah ben de mi s\u0131y\u0131rd\u0131m ne. \u015eu yazd\u0131klar\u0131ma bir bak\u0131n hemde Sevgililer g\u00fcn\u00fcnde. E\u2026 sa\u011fl\u0131k \u00f6nemli tabiiii.<img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignright wp-image-2599\" src=\"http:\/\/xn--zkartal-80a.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/26082011552-300x225.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"289\" height=\"217\" srcset=\"http:\/\/xn--zkartal-80a.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/26082011552-300x225.jpg 300w, http:\/\/xn--zkartal-80a.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/26082011552-1024x768.jpg 1024w, http:\/\/xn--zkartal-80a.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/26082011552-768x576.jpg 768w, http:\/\/xn--zkartal-80a.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/26082011552-1536x1152.jpg 1536w, http:\/\/xn--zkartal-80a.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/26082011552-2048x1536.jpg 2048w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 289px) 100vw, 289px\" \/><br \/>\nT\u00fcrkiyem; can\u0131mdan \u00f6te vatan\u0131m, T\u00fcrk dili; Anam\u0131n, Atam\u0131n yadigar\u0131.\u00a0 Ne kadar zengin bir dil oldu\u011funu, kelimeleri ge\u00e7mi\u015f zamana s\u0131\u011fd\u0131rabilmi\u015f olmamda aray\u0131n!..<br \/>\nHayallerimde ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m t\u00fcm g\u00fczellikleri; Seviyordun, ben ise senin aksine, sadece mutlu olmak istiyordum, Vatan\u0131mda \u00f6zg\u00fcrce. G\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc sevdi\u011fim Ana dilim; c\u00fcmleleleri, kolayca dili ge\u00e7mi\u015f zamanla kurabiliyorum. Bazen bir okadar\u2019da fakir buluyorumki; Ne zaman\u2018m\u0131? <strong>yemin i\u00e7erim sana, bizi y\u00f6netti\u011fini sananlara, s\u00f6yleyecek bir s\u00f6z bulamad\u0131\u011f\u0131mda!<\/strong> Bo\u015f ver, bende bo\u015f vermi\u015fim, bu g\u00fcn \u015fu hastahane koridorundan, hayata bir kere daha selam olsun\u2026 Daha \u00f6nceleri bilirdim, bo\u015f vermenin ne anlam ta\u015f\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131; kimseler gibi olamad\u0131m ben, bo\u015fvermek ne demek? anlam\u0131n\u0131 bilirdim de; hi\u00e7 \u00e7\u0131kart\u0131p T\u00fck\u00e7e da\u011farc\u0131\u011f\u0131mdan kullanamad\u0131m.<br \/>\nBa\u015f\u0131m\u0131 sallay\u0131p, bo\u015f ver diyemedim ne gidi\u015fine, ne de hi\u00e7 var olmam\u0131\u015f\u0131m gibi bana bo\u015fveri\u015fine. Hem insan bulundu\u011fu konumu, d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmeden ger\u00e7ekte; bo\u015f verirmi seviyorum dedi\u011fine! Belki\u2018de hata bendeydi. Seni \u00f6zne yapm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m \u00f6mr\u00fcme; ama sen son olmak istedin, y\u00fcklem misali. Bir eylemi ger\u00e7ekle\u015ftirip; beni y\u0131k\u0131p giderken\u2018de!.. Devrik c\u00fcmeleler gibi \u015fimdi hayat\u0131m, hayat\u0131mda kim nerde duruyor ald\u0131rm\u0131yorum. Kim hayat\u0131ma nas\u0131l bir anlam kat\u0131yor \u00f6nemsemiyorum. Ya\u015fam\u0131mda ki noktalama i\u015faretleri de umurumda de\u011fil. Aynen \u00dclkemde oldu\u011fu gibi. Nokta yok virg\u00fcl yok ne duruyorum neyi bekliyorum. Durup, herhangi bir g\u00fczelli\u011fin \u00f6n\u00fcnde, doya, doya bakmak varken. Kendime ait t\u0131rnak i\u00e7ine alabilece\u011fim c\u00fcmleler\u2018 de kuram\u0131yorum. Mesela Reis gibi; Hi\u00e7 bir \u015feyim kalmad\u0131! yoktu zaten, ezbere ya\u015f\u0131yorum. \u0130nan\u0131n dostlar\u0131m bu saatden sonra, hayat\u0131ma \u00fcnlem koyup, beni mutlu edecek hi\u00e7 bir \u015fey bilmiyorum. Bildi\u011fim tek \u015fey, adaml\u0131k bende kals\u0131n, yine de seni seviyorum. Fakat s\u00f6z konusu; kuruldu\u011fu g\u00fcne kurban oldu\u011fum vatansa, bu defal\u0131k HAYIR diyorum.<br \/>\nHa bak bir de hayat\u0131m\u0131n \u00f6znesiyken noktas\u0131 olmana \u00fcz\u00fcl\u00fcyorum! Hani olur ya, kesi\u015firse yollar\u0131m\u0131z bu ahir \u00f6m\u00fcrde, kar\u015f\u0131la\u015f\u0131rsak tekrar g\u00fcn\u00fcn birinde, seni \u00f6zne yaparm\u0131y\u0131m \u00f6mr\u00fcme! \u0130\u015fte bak bunu ben&#8217;de bilemiyorum.<br \/>\nSevgilim yem ye\u015fil Demet demet \u00e7i\u00e7ekli vatan\u0131mda Sevgililer g\u00fcn\u00fcm\u00fcz kutlu olsun.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u00a0Mehmet Tevfik \u00d6zkartal<br \/>\nKlinikum Nord N\u00fcrnberg<br \/>\n14.02.2017<\/p>\n<h3><\/h3>\n<h3><\/h3>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&nbsp; Bildik manzaralar var hayat\u0131mda. Ge\u00e7en sene bu aylar\u2019da yine bu hastahanenin bir ba\u015fka odas\u0131ndan, \u015fubat ay\u0131n\u0131n sekizinde karalam\u0131\u015ft\u0131m bir ka\u00e7 sat\u0131r. Bu sene ond\u00f6rd\u00fc ayn\u0131 hastahanenin bir ba\u015fka odas\u0131nda, hemde Sevgililer g\u00fcn\u00fcnde! Kalbim parampar\u00e7a mesela, g\u00f6zlerim ilk g\u00fcn ki gibi; dokunsalar a\u011flayacak onlar da. Omzumda y\u0131llar\u0131n yorgunlu\u011fu, beynimde unutulmu\u015f s\u00f6zlerin \u201cbelki hat\u0131rlan\u0131r\u201d umudu. Benimkisi [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[40],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/xn--zkartal-80a.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2285"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/xn--zkartal-80a.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/xn--zkartal-80a.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/xn--zkartal-80a.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/xn--zkartal-80a.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2285"}],"version-history":[{"count":27,"href":"http:\/\/xn--zkartal-80a.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2285\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2614,"href":"http:\/\/xn--zkartal-80a.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2285\/revisions\/2614"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/xn--zkartal-80a.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2285"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/xn--zkartal-80a.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2285"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/xn--zkartal-80a.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2285"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}